Learning how to split in half and still keep one’s sanity

Wow! Time is certainly travelling along, isn’t it? It has been too long since my last post, so I will try to remedy that.

My life has been split in half. So has my sister’s. Therefore, so have our husbands’ and all else connected to our private existence.

Life has changed a lot, being a full-time part-time caregiver has affected my life drastically. With my sister, I am alternating weeks living with our dad (which makes it part-time), but we are going to be doing this for … who knows how long? (which makes it full-time) Even when I’m not on my ‘shift’ I’m still sort of on-call – if my sister phones and needs support or information or whatever. She does the same for me. That’s how we have it set up for each other and so far it is working out.

Recently, we were approved for a few hours respite each week, which is a blessing. A huge blessing. We were getting very weary, it’s a mental thing — always having to be alert to where, what, when — so getting a break is an assist to retaining sanity. Respite is so new to us that it is taking a little time to work out the glitches, and I find it hard turning things over to someone else even for a few hours. But, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it and need it.

Can anyone relate to any of what I’m sharing?

When I get home from my week on duty, I lose at least one day from total weariness. Being on constant alert mode is exhausting, and even feeling tired there it really hits when getting home and being able to let my guard down. whew! I don’t know how people do this for years, and not being able to alternate weeks. Perhaps it’s a little different having one’s own home to maintain as well, but either way … it is taxing. Even so, it is an honour and a blessing to be able to do this for one’s loved one, regardless of the difficulty as conditions worsen. Further to that, it’s not really understood that there is even a problem. Challenging.

So, how do we do it? To be honest, The Lord is our Strength. Prayer, talking to other people who understand, getting those little blocks of time out of the house or just being able to read or work at a hobby while a nap is happening .. usually not our own 🙂 .. all are very important in order to keep one’s sanity. Another top thing is that our families are understanding and very supportive in this. I doubt that we could do it otherwise. So, really .. the wheel that turns it all is LOVE.

I originally set up this blog to track my journey in writing. Why do my journeys seem to always have side roads? Do the sidetracks add to the well from which stories come? I’m hoping so. The novel I got well underway in 2010’s NaNoWriMo (refer to https://lynnadavidson.wordpress.com/nanowrimo-updates-2010/) has not been altered one bit since. Do I try to work more on it in NaNo 2011? I really want to finish it instead of starting something new yet. My hesitation is because I fear attempting NaNo this year would set me up for an incomplete. But gosh! If I keep putting it off I could be years .. or never! ..getting back to it.

How do people write, sometimes their best work, during times of stress?

It seems I still have much to learn about splitting my life in half while keeping hold of some measure of my established interests — and sanity.

Do you have a similar story to tell? How did or do you manage it?

Thanks for reading, and … Creative Musings!  🙂

Surprises, sacrifices and schedules

This is Holy Week in the Christian faith, the week of remembering Christ’s sacrifice for us. It is coming into a weekend of special services and celebrations, family dinners and reunions. I hope it is also a time of reflection for all God has provided for us through the Cross and His unfathomable Love, much more than is realized or that we can even understand.

This weekend is especially wonderful for me because last Sunday we were surprised by the arrival of our daughter who lives in Alberta. She showed up for a three-week visit, which is a blessing to this mother’s heart. For the first time in a few years we have all four of our girls home for a few occasions – one daughter’s birthday, Easter, Mother’s Day. I love it! And tomorrow morning we – and some other family members – are all going to the Good Friday service where I fellowship. That means a lot to me.

On another topic — Now that I have access to my computer only half the time, my posts are having to be scheduled when I can manage to prepare them – which explains why I got two posts up last week when I was not online, in case anyone was wondering about that. A Twitter pal noticed.  🙂  WordPress has this great feature where a blog entry can be scheduled to be posted whenever you want it to be seen. Gotta love that! The only problem is that I can’t reply to comments unless I am here. But don’t let that stop you! 🙂

I plan to soon get another book review up followed by an interview, and another one is already planned for early May as part of a blog tour. So, if you enjoy those then please keep checking back.

I’m trying to keep up between times spent with my dad, but not doing as well as I would like in the other things. Hopefully, I will improve. My time management skills are severely lacking.

So, how are you spending the Easter weekend?

And on the topic of time management, how do you pull it all together?

Thanks for reading, and … Creative Musings!  🙂

Have you come full circle yet?

Do you ever feel that life is taking off without you? That you can’t keep up with all that is in your line of vision? It is times like those that I realize I could not hold up without the strength the Lord gives me.

I am delighted that our youngest daughter moved home in March, and so is her little dog – as much as a dog can be delighted. 🙂 Now she is job searching so that she can get herself established again. Having her home will be helpful.

What is upcoming for us as a family is that we have come full circle, my husband and I. Several years ago, my sister and I lived with our parents again for the last month of our mother’s life when she was dying of cancer.  We each moved back into our old rooms which allowed us to be there to spend time with Mum and minister to her however we could, and to support our father. (My sister’s husband would bring their baby some days, and each evening I would go home to have supper with my family and put our youngest to bed before going back to my parents’.) This month my sister and I will be starting a rotation of living with Dad, alternating weeks for as long as is manageable. We will be companions to Dad more than caregivers in the way it is most understood. This time it is a sacrifice that will affect our own households for an indefinite length of time, but it is the only right decision at this time as he needs someone there with him. We don’t live far from him anyway, but it is time to do this. And Dad won’t be overwhelmed by us — 🙂  — because we won’t both be there all the time, but taking turns week by week.

To be honest with you, in considering all this it is something that I want to do and do not want to do. Even though I want to be there for my elderly father, I know it is going to change my own life, marriage, home. I will do this, though, because my family supports me in it and I love my dad – otherwise it would be nearly impossible. Do you know the feeling? It will be a good challenge, very important to our relationship and with fun potential. 🙂

During our quiet evenings, since Dad is still able to enjoy his own reading time, I plan to read more books, prepare more book reviews, and finish writing my novel and picture books. Then the weeks I am home I can post to my blog and catch up wherever else I have fallen behind.

Yes, that is the plan. A good plan. A reasonable plan. I’ll soon find out how well it works.

Have you come full circle yet, becoming the caregiver for the one who cared for you?

Maybe you are caregiver for someone else you love, or are available to give someone else a break? (Being a caregiver can be very stressful and exhausting, so if you are considering helping someone who does this, I’m sure they would appreciate a few hours for themselves each week.)

I’m very interested in hearing your stories.

Thanks for reading, and … Creative Musings!  🙂

 

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Did you make resolutions?

Wow!  It is 2011 already!  HAPPY NEW YEAR to you!

First, thank you for your support in reading my ramblings here.  I appreciate you very much.  🙂

I had intended to post here for Christmas and the New Year, but I got overwhelmed with life and ‘stuff’ and couldn’t fit everything in.  I was busy with all the usual things, but since this is the season I fight depression I had a bit of a struggle right around Christmas.  Same as last year our two youngest daughters did not get home, and our two oldest daughters didn’t come out either but met us at my dad’s in early afternoon for our combined family dinner – only ten of us this year.  It was very quiet here all morning with just my husband and our daughter’s little dog.  Very unusual … the first time in all our years together that it has been just the two of us for Christmas.  I missed our girls.

A sad time for us was that my aunt (Dad’s sister) was dying, and she passed away December 28, her funeral being January 1.  That made for a rather rough end of 2010 and beginning of 2011 for my family.  Not much unlike thirteen years ago when Mum passed away December 30, her funeral being January 2.  Some years I get through the ‘anniversary’ just fine, but this year was not as easy.  I think much of it was that I felt sorrow for my cousins, and it brought everything back more intensely for me.

How was the Christmas season for you?  How did you celebrate the ‘holidays’?

On a lighter note … much to-do is made over New Year’s resolutions.  Several years ago I gave up making them officially, but each new year I plan and hope to “do better”.  This time I determined to ‘go through’ my house one room at a time to ‘fine tune’ things, and I have done one room so far.  I also have business goals to achieve, writing aspirations to focus on, continued publishing of Christian newsletter Valley Sunshine and members’ correspondence to answer.

Last year I did resolve to read more, which you know by the page I set up here – My “have read” book list (Dec 1’09 – Dec 31’10) – where I kept track of my progress.  Since that fun thing went quite well I set up a page for this year, too.  I will finish reading the books of the Bible and add to my list as many more books as I possibly can.  For some I will write reviews and I plan to interview authors as well.

All these are things that interest me that I want to do.  But — I have to remember not to stress myself out when I can’t keep up.  Right?

How is your reading coming along?  Have you been inspired to read anything you have seen mentioned here?  If so, I would love to know about it.  🙂

So, have you made any New Year’s resolutions/set any goals for 2011?

I wish for you a happy, healthy, accomplished 2011.

Thanks for reading, and .. Creative Musings!  🙂