Do you ever feel that life is taking off without you? That you can’t keep up with all that is in your line of vision? It is times like those that I realize I could not hold up without the strength the Lord gives me.
I am delighted that our youngest daughter moved home in March, and so is her little dog – as much as a dog can be delighted. 🙂 Now she is job searching so that she can get herself established again. Having her home will be helpful.
What is upcoming for us as a family is that we have come full circle, my husband and I. Several years ago, my sister and I lived with our parents again for the last month of our mother’s life when she was dying of cancer. We each moved back into our old rooms which allowed us to be there to spend time with Mum and minister to her however we could, and to support our father. (My sister’s husband would bring their baby some days, and each evening I would go home to have supper with my family and put our youngest to bed before going back to my parents’.) This month my sister and I will be starting a rotation of living with Dad, alternating weeks for as long as is manageable. We will be companions to Dad more than caregivers in the way it is most understood. This time it is a sacrifice that will affect our own households for an indefinite length of time, but it is the only right decision at this time as he needs someone there with him. We don’t live far from him anyway, but it is time to do this. And Dad won’t be overwhelmed by us — 🙂 — because we won’t both be there all the time, but taking turns week by week.
To be honest with you, in considering all this it is something that I want to do and do not want to do. Even though I want to be there for my elderly father, I know it is going to change my own life, marriage, home. I will do this, though, because my family supports me in it and I love my dad – otherwise it would be nearly impossible. Do you know the feeling? It will be a good challenge, very important to our relationship and with fun potential. 🙂
During our quiet evenings, since Dad is still able to enjoy his own reading time, I plan to read more books, prepare more book reviews, and finish writing my novel and picture books. Then the weeks I am home I can post to my blog and catch up wherever else I have fallen behind.
Yes, that is the plan. A good plan. A reasonable plan. I’ll soon find out how well it works.
Have you come full circle yet, becoming the caregiver for the one who cared for you?
Maybe you are caregiver for someone else you love, or are available to give someone else a break? (Being a caregiver can be very stressful and exhausting, so if you are considering helping someone who does this, I’m sure they would appreciate a few hours for themselves each week.)
I’m very interested in hearing your stories.
Thanks for reading, and … Creative Musings! 🙂
Dearest Polilla, This has to be a difficult thing to do, and yet I know you will grow (and I know you know that, too) as a daughter and as a Christian. My husband and I are caregivers for his father, and my sister and I help our father take care of our mom. Sacrifice and privilege. God is good.
Thank you, Sue, for these encouraging words. It really is a privilege to be able to help Dad.
I have been feeling quite stressed over this, anticipating what lies ahead for us all – far beyond where I now am. You’ve reminded me that it will be a time of growing. That is a good thing. Looking at this in a more positive light feels much better.
YES! God IS good.
Blessings to you.
I wonder how anyone copes with the challenges of life without faith in God, without His comfort and strength. When my children were in elementary school, I became caregiver to my grandfather. Daily trips to his home soon became impossible. He moved in with us. He was a delight to care for, because he was an easy-going, kind-hearted gentleman, even in his last years when his mind was compromised. I once asked him if he knew who I was. He answered, after a pause, to say that I was his puppy. I agreed.
I became caregiver to my second husband during the last four years of his life with terminal cancer. I quit my full-time job to take care of him. How we got through that was one miracle after another. There was a time I purchased two pills from the pharmacy at one time because of the enormous price. Yet, one way or another, our needs were met.
I remarried. I quit another full-time job to care for my current husband. After 12 years of marriage he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. When the doctor said he had to go to a nursing home, I made up my mind immediately that I would take care of him. After all, I already knew that God was able to supply our needs, which He faithfully does.
You and your sister will be blessed as you struggle to meet the caregiver needs of your father. You are both to be commended for embracing this responsibility with a loving attitude. Blessings to you both…
Okay, now you ladies are almost making me cry. I so appreciate your sharing from your own life experience.
God does not fail us and I know this. He is about to prove it to me again, of that I am sure, and I look forward to it.
I marvel at what people do, the strength the Lord gives them to get through things.
Thanks for sharing your story with me, Carol Ann. Blessings to you.
Since you and your sister have come to a prayerful decision about this, then you need to do it. And you are! You aren’t being doubleminded. You are doing the thing God calls us to do. LOVE. You love your daddy…that is obvious in the way you write about him. I am so glad you are able to spend time with him and just be with him. You have the support of your family in this decision, and that is a tremendous blessing.
I hope you’ll tell your pastor of your decision and allow your church to be a blessing to you and your sister, too. THere might be days you feel tired or unable to do “one more thing”. Allow them to come in and fill in the gaps. Caregivers give of themselves and they need time to replenish and renew. Other folks might want to help you and your sister, and there is nothing wrong in accepting that help. I will pray that the help will come at just the right time.
Hugs to you and your whole family,
Thank you for your sweet words of comfort and encouragement.
I wasn’t going to say anything to the fellowship I meet with on Sundays, then I was, then I decided to wait. This morning someone shared something that connected with me and our situation, and I had the prompting that ‘yes’ .. it was time to share with the fellowship – so I did. Afterward our pastor prayed for me and for my whole family.
It’s interesting the timing on your comment which was here when I got home.
I appreciate your prayers and hugs, Donna. 🙂 Blessings to you.
Yes, my mum lived with us for the last five months of her life. It was a crazy busy time for my family, but so worth it! I know she felt cared for and loved and safe – after all she did for me over the years, how could I not return a tiny bit of the same?
I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way about helping Mum and being there for/with her, she had done so much for me and loved me unconditionally – not an easy thing at times, I’m sure. No regrets.
Thank you for your comment, Jan.