Learning how to split in half and still keep one’s sanity

Wow! Time is certainly travelling along, isn’t it? It has been too long since my last post, so I will try to remedy that.

My life has been split in half. So has my sister’s. Therefore, so have our husbands’ and all else connected to our private existence.

Life has changed a lot, being a full-time part-time caregiver has affected my life drastically. With my sister, I am alternating weeks living with our dad (which makes it part-time), but we are going to be doing this for … who knows how long? (which makes it full-time) Even when I’m not on my ‘shift’ I’m still sort of on-call – if my sister phones and needs support or information or whatever. She does the same for me. That’s how we have it set up for each other and so far it is working out.

Recently, we were approved for a few hours respite each week, which is a blessing. A huge blessing. We were getting very weary, it’s a mental thing — always having to be alert to where, what, when — so getting a break is an assist to retaining sanity. Respite is so new to us that it is taking a little time to work out the glitches, and I find it hard turning things over to someone else even for a few hours. But, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it and need it.

Can anyone relate to any of what I’m sharing?

When I get home from my week on duty, I lose at least one day from total weariness. Being on constant alert mode is exhausting, and even feeling tired there it really hits when getting home and being able to let my guard down. whew! I don’t know how people do this for years, and not being able to alternate weeks. Perhaps it’s a little different having one’s own home to maintain as well, but either way … it is taxing. Even so, it is an honour and a blessing to be able to do this for one’s loved one, regardless of the difficulty as conditions worsen. Further to that, it’s not really understood that there is even a problem. Challenging.

So, how do we do it? To be honest, The Lord is our Strength. Prayer, talking to other people who understand, getting those little blocks of time out of the house or just being able to read or work at a hobby while a nap is happening .. usually not our own 🙂 .. all are very important in order to keep one’s sanity. Another top thing is that our families are understanding and very supportive in this. I doubt that we could do it otherwise. So, really .. the wheel that turns it all is LOVE.

I originally set up this blog to track my journey in writing. Why do my journeys seem to always have side roads? Do the sidetracks add to the well from which stories come? I’m hoping so. The novel I got well underway in 2010’s NaNoWriMo (refer to https://lynnadavidson.wordpress.com/nanowrimo-updates-2010/) has not been altered one bit since. Do I try to work more on it in NaNo 2011? I really want to finish it instead of starting something new yet. My hesitation is because I fear attempting NaNo this year would set me up for an incomplete. But gosh! If I keep putting it off I could be years .. or never! ..getting back to it.

How do people write, sometimes their best work, during times of stress?

It seems I still have much to learn about splitting my life in half while keeping hold of some measure of my established interests — and sanity.

Do you have a similar story to tell? How did or do you manage it?

Thanks for reading, and … Creative Musings!  🙂

Advertisements

4 responses to “Learning how to split in half and still keep one’s sanity

  1. You are so very right, Lynn. The Lord is our strength in times like this, and sometimes, though our hearts ache, whatever joys God has given us as we use our talents and gifts in His name have to be set aside while we learn the lesson He deems we need to to learn to grow us more toward Him.

    My husband and I are giving care in one way or another to 3 parents, two in their own homes and 1 in an assisted living home. During winters we are basically the only caregivers; in the summers we have more help from siblings. When our days seem overwhelming, we try to escape for a few hours together, which helps a great deal. Nothing that we are doing now is as difficult as the 5 years we took care of my husband’s mother who had Alzheimer’s or the nights this summer when I stayed with my mother who didn’t sleep. But even during those tough times, God always lit my days with some bit of beauty on his earth. A way I could feel His love through nature.

    My prayers are with you. I understand the weariness, the strange type of boredom, the broken heart that appends an ache to all we do. Lean on Him, dear Polilla.

    Like

    • Sue, you touch my heart. I thought of you when I was writing this post. I didn’t want it coming across as whining when I know so many have it harder, but I tried to just state it as it is.

      Thank you so much for your understanding, for your prayers, and for faithfully following – and commenting on – my blog. I hope you know you are appreciated. 🙂 hugs

      Like

  2. Lynn, I am so with you here. My life has been a full-time caregiver for not only our son, but my husband as well, for the last 9 years. It is a constant struggle. It is depressing. I cling to hope. I cling to love. I cling to God. I have to learn to find a release. I have to learn to ask for help when I need it and not be too prideful. It’s hard. So hard. I just wish I had the support locally, that the Internet provides me. My writing is also a release sometimes, even if it is only a few words here and there. If you can write, I would suggest writing anyway you can. Don’t worry about doing NaNo, but if you want to play along during the month, just to get some motivation, go ahead. You don’t have to commit to the whole novel. It’s the community motivation that will help you. And definitely, your side roads provide fill-ups to your well of creativity!

    Like

    • LadyJai, I so appreciate your sharing here. I think there are so many people who get through every day with such struggles, and I wonder how they ever manage without support and faith in God. We are getting needed support because Dad is a WWII veteran, and they really are coming through for us. Seek whatever means is available to you.

      I’m just starting to find connections with people through the Internet, mostly around writing, and I’m hopeful that I can pull it together enough to really write. So many stories locked away waiting to find a voice.

      Thank you so much for your comment, and for your online friendship. Blessings and hugs. 🙂

      Like

I look forward to reading your greatly appreciated comments. Thanks for making my day! :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s